Maui Revealed - Grand Wailea Resort Hotel & Spa

780 rooms, 9 pools, 4 spas, 6 restaurants, 24-hour room service, fitness center, day spa, valet parking, 13 shops, 22 conference rooms, 24-hour business center, hi-speed Internet access and Wi-Fi in rooms, Wi-Fi in parts of the resort, coffee maker with free coffee daily, wedding coordinator, laundry is valet only.

Words that describe this place are: wow, huge, awesome, overwhelming, crowded, fun. Grand Wailea is indeed one of the largest resorts on Maui. They took every dream and whim that the designers could come up with and sprinkled in a half billion dollars or so (give or take a hundred million—I mean, who’s counting when it gets that high?). The result is an outrageous, exotic tropical playground.

When you drive up, you are greeted by a waterfall that would look natural along the road to Hana. (In fact, one of the tour companies shows this waterfall in their jungle tour of Hana brochure—shame on them.) Once you’ve checked in, you just gotta check out the pools. Imagine nine interconnected pools with a current running between many of them. Waterslides, Tarzan rope swings, rapids to shoot, a sandy baby beach portion, and a swim-up bar. This pool is wildly popular, and you’ll be forgiven if you sometimes wonder if everyone staying at the resort has decided to hang out at the pool for the day. (Quiet, it ain’t.) The chairs are very tightly packed around all the pools.

Speaking of chairs, if you rent the cabanas with 4 chairs at the pool, it costs $275–$350 per day—the most expensive in all of Hawaii in peak season. And you may have to reserve it in advance. But hey, they sure do pamper you. They’ll serve you water and fruit. We think at that price they should at least include a personal masseuse.

The 40 acres of grounds do hide lots of nooks and crannies where one can find some privacy. Some $30 million worth of art—some beautiful, some bizarre—adorns the grounds and lobby.

Countless shops are here, mostly upscale. They have numerous restaurants. Wedding services here are extensive. They host gobs of weddings each year, and their chapel is utterly gorgeous.

Their children’s program is the most extensive we’ve ever seen at a resort. It’s 20,000 sq. ft., including classrooms, a PlayStation room, movie theater and whale-shaped pool. But it’s ultra-pricey at $125 per day—the most expensive program on the island. They also have a night camp for $95.

Grand Wailea is blessed with being located on one of the finest beaches on Maui, Wailea Beach. Endless frolicking fun is yours to be had here. They have windsurfing lessons, snorkeling and boogie boarding accoutrements for rent and scuba lessons. The latter take place in their dedicated SCUBA pool, which is 10 feet deep and lined with sea critter tiles. They also have racquetball, volleyball and basketball.

The day spa, like everything else here, is huge and busy. Every bone-melting activity that the human race has created seems available here.

They have one of those annoying mandatory resort fees of $25 to cover local calls, fitness center, Internet access, room safes, daily coffee, area shuttle service, lots of activities, etc. It’s also $20 for valet parking. (Self-parking is free but far away, in narrow spaces, unless you’re in a room on the south end of the resort.) They’ll bring you an empty fridge for your stay for $25–$45 depending on length of use.

They have what we call a “close family fee.” If you want to use that door connecting adjacent rooms, it’s $50 per night. (Ridiculous but true.)

We’ve been to this resort a number of times over the years, and though we’ve liked it a bit less each time, the staff seemed improved on this visit. Still, we found it felt more like a visitor-processing machine than a warm, welcoming resort. The grounds used to be well-kept, but this time we saw lots of cracked walkways and an overall less-tended look. The $50 million room renovations completed in 2009 looked nice but not overly exciting.

Grand Wailea can feel like Disneyland on the beach. It’s one of those places where you can hang out at the resort and stay entertained for days. (Which, of course, we hope you won’t do.) What’s the catch? Wadayatink? The word “Grand” in their name might be your daily rate. Rooms (640–715 sq. ft.) are $725–$1,450. Suites (1,300–5,500 sq. ft.) start at $2,000 and go up to the Grand Suite, which used to be more expensive, but now will only set you back a mere $7,000–$15,000. (For that price, I wonder if they allow you to steal all the towels you can carry.) Packages alleviate some of the rate pain.