Maui Revealed - Fairmont Kea Lani

450 rooms, 2 pools and a keiki pool, 2 spas, day spa, child care program, valet parking, vcr and dvd players in each room, empty refrigerator, free room safe, coffee makers with free coffee daily, hi-speed Internet access in rooms, Wi-Fi in common areas, business center, 4 conference rooms, shops, 4 restaurants, wedding coordinator, laundry facilities. Let's start with the reaction that almost everyone has when they approach this resort: Wow, this is a really goofy looking place! The impression is one of Ali Baba and the 40 Thieves meets King Kamehameha. According to the resort's story, the developer was in Mexico meeting with an architect who created the resort used in Dudley Moore's movie, 10. That architect came here and was told to create something that blends with the land. This is the result, a mix of Hawaiian and Moorish design. (For those who missed the Moors in geography class, think Casablanca.) Once you get inside, however, you realize that everything about the resort screams money, as if the developer opened a vault and poured money onto the floor. And the results are impressive. The decor is a mix of Hawaiian and...I guess Moorish. Everything feels expensive. The name Kea Lani means White Heaven, and it certainly lives up to its name. Everything is bright white, so don't skimp on the expensive sunglasses. One downside to the white everywhere (aside from being a bit blinding) is that the resort is hotter than others in the area. The bright reflective light and the U-shaped building (which prevents breezes from passing through) make the resort pretty warm much of the time. But the rooms are air conditioned.

Speaking of the rooms, all are either suites or villas. The suites are a spacious 840-1,100 sq. ft. (including lanai) and very nicely furnished. The bathrooms are huge with deep tubs, a door-less shower and a posh feel. All rooms have very large lanais. Villas, on the other hand, are for the rich and famous. they all sit very close to the ocean. Starting at $1,500, these 2- and 3-bedroom, 2-story units feature their own plunging pool (meaning a teeny-tiny swimming pool), cordless phones, bbq, washer/dryers, full kitchens and extra services such as including a rental car in the room rate. Are the villas worth it? Of course not; that's beside the point. If you have to ask, you're probably in one of the "ordinary" suites with the rest of us peons. But you can dream, can't you?

Their beach, Polo Beach, is nice, and their neighbors have even better ones, accessible from the shoreline path linking the Wailea resorts. The valet parking is $18 and you may want it because their narrow parking spaces could make a motorcycle rider sweat. The resort has a pretty good child program (pricey at $75 a day), but they keep the younguns outside as much as possible. They rent beach toys and soak you like other resorts ($9 per hour for snorkel gear!). Beach chairs are free, but the covered cabana chairs are a hefty $150 per day by the pool, which includes a cooler stocked with juices, water and fresh fruit. Umbrellas are an extra $45 for your beach chair!

They do not have a resort fee and do offer the guests some freebies such as a canoe ride in the mornings, area shuttle service, kids can help feed the koi in the ponds and there's a clown wandering around the pool area and its 140-foot waterslide. There is an adults-only pool for those wishing to get away from all the action.

Their on-site restaurants, such as Nick's and Cafe Ciao, are excellent. Kea Lani succeeds in their attempt to create a dreamy luxury resort, and rooms, frankly, start cheaper than we would have expected, especially considering that they are such spacious suites. $525-$1,200 gets you a suite; villas 2/2s (2,200 sq. ft.) are $1,500-$2,500, 3/2s (2,400 sq. ft.) are $2,000-$2,900. Some packages are available during parts of the year.